How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
