hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
last night I used snow as a chaser
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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