your parents love me but you hate me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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