I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
