For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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