Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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