This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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