i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
