Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
