just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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