I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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