I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
