omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
