We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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