STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
