my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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