No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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