before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
