so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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