The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
