mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
