There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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