just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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