Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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