giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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