it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
