Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
