I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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