He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
