Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
