Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
