I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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