This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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