I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
