I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize