i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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