We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Enjoy the penises
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize