Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
