I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You know, be my cock's hype man.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
