Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize