i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
