not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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