My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
