Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize