I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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