4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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