spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
