apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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