i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize