im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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