Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
