You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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