my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
