I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
