I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
