well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
