I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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