Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
