So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
