last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
