News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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