you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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