i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
