I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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