i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
