I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
